Diary Of A Madman
by eternal-brat
Summary: Just a random rant about the shinigami from Hichigo's POV  OneshotLanguage


**This story contains lots of cussing, so if you are offended by that, then this story is not for you. **

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_**Diary Of A Madman**_

_Screaming at the window_

_Watch me die another day_

_Hopeless situation_

_Endless price I have to pay_

_Sanity now it's beyond me_

_There's no choice_

_Diary of a madman_

_Walk the line again today_

_Entries of confusion_

_Dear diary, I'm here to stay_

_Manic depression befriends me_

_Hear his voice_

_Sanity now it's beyond me_

_There's no choice_

_A sickened mind and spirit_

_The mirror tells me lies_

_Could I mistake myself for someone_

_Who lives behind my eyes?_

_Will he escape my soul_

_Or will he live in me?_

_Is he trying to get out_

_Or trying to enter me?_

_Voices in the darkness_

_Scream away my mental health_

_Can I ask a question_

_To help me save me from myself?_

_Enemies fill up the pages_

_Are they me_

_Monday 'till Sunday in stages_

_Set me free_

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I screamed in frustration, my anger quickly escalating to rage. "Ichigo, you fucking bastard!! Let me out! You will never beat him without me!" Enraged, I kicked and hammered against the invisible barrier which trapped me within Ichigo's soul.

A crack appeared. Focusing my energy on that weakened spot, I soon was able to force my way through, gaining control of Ichigo's shinigami form, pushing Ichigo's spirit behind the invisible barricade.

Immediately, the eyes changed and a partial mask covered part of the boy's face. Shrill, taunting laughter spilled from my mouth. "I'm going to kill you!" I shrieked, whirling Zangetsu by its hilt wrappings. Grabbing the lethal weapon, I charged at his opponent, slashing at the shinigami who foolishly attempted to defend himself.

"Getsuga Tenshou" I screamed, slamming Zangetsu against the ground. Immediately, the black spirit force raced across the ground, charging mercilessly into Kuchiki Byakuya. I taunted the stunned taicho as his shattered kenseiken fell to the ground.

Suddenly, I was forcibly restrained; I screamed in frustration. "Stop!! Let go of me...You can't beat him without me!!!" An internal struggle ensued; Ichigo emerging the victor. The mask fell away and the eyes reverted to their normal brown.

"Sorry about that," Ichigo apologized. I snarled and cursed at the boy, furious that he would humble himself before that arrogant shinigami. Didn't the idiot child understand that Kuchiki despised him and wouldn't hesitate to kill him? He had already tried several times during this fight. I understand that if Ichigo dies, so will I. As much as the I hate the shinigami, I can't sit back idly and let that happen. Unfortunately, our fate and destiny was intertwined for eternity. One couldn't survive without the other.

Kuchiki, the arrogant ass, was intelligent enough to realize that neither he nor Ichigo had much stamina left. Both shinigami poured all their energies into one final attack. I was torn between two polar emotions--admiration and rage for Ichigo's stubborn determination to finish this battle without me. An intense desire to spill the aristocratic shinigami's blood filled my mind; I assaulted the transparent barrier viciously. The attack was futile. No matter how hard I kicked, no matter how hard I slammed my fists against it, it held strong.

Surviving the wounds inflicted by Kuchiki and Aizen was truly a miracle. It was the boy's strong reaitsu which prevented him from dying. That, plus the human girl's amazing healing capability. I was grateful to her, but I loathed her touching Ichigo's body. Every time she laid her hands on him, her affection poured through their connected spirits, repulsing and nauseating me. Feelings like hers were anathema to me. If I could have broken through the barrier, I would have, if only to see the look of horror on her face when faced with the darker part of Ichigo's soul. I laugh maniacally, imagining her reaction. Now that I think about it, she does possess very strong spiritual energy...she would be a very tasty soul for me...strong and innocent...that particular combination was very alluring. Perhaps I should try to gain control one day when Inoue was hanging around the King waiting, hoping, praying that he would notice her and consider her more than just a friend.

Out of sheer dumb fucking luck, Ichigo has managed to surround himself with very spiritually powerful people. Like the Quincy, Ishida. Now, there is a lot of fucking energy in that boy. I would love to test him, to battle against him. I have never had the opportunity to fight against one of the legendary archers; I wonder how I would fare in a fight with one. I have no doubt that I would be the victor--my strength is far more than his. And I imagine that his soul would be very delicious--all the strength, all the spirit energy of the Quincy. Fuck. Yeah, I laugh to myself...one day soon I will break down the barrier and take control of Ichigo's body. That time, I WILL NOT allow him to force me away.

His other friend, the giant, Chad...his strength is fucking amazing! It's a damn shame that he only uses his ability to protect others. What happened to the boy to make him so unselfish? Me, I would tell everyone they can kiss my ass...just before I shredded them with Zangestu.

Yeah...Zangetsu. That's right. He belongs to me!! I am the one who can wield the sword, who can use the amazing power it possesses. After all, when Ichigo used bankai, it was only because I fucking allowed him to. It was due to my strength that he defeated that arrogant ass, Kuchiki.

Urahara. A fucking shinigami. I find it very hard to accept that my existence is due to an experiment. Much less,. a friggin' test created by a shinigami taicho. I'd kill him, but I can't. Even us fucking hollows have some pride and respect. Besides, I owe him. After all, he created me. Still, I'd love to test my battle skills against his--he's good, but not good enough to beat me. Good idea... If I fight him and kill him, that would be okay because I didn't fucking murder him-I defeated him...big fuckin' difference.

And the tattooed freak, Renji. How the hell did he become stick-up-the-ass Kuchiki's fukutaicho? I love his 'I'm gonna kick your ass' attitude and his bankai is fuckin' huge!! Too bad he can't control it. If he could, then I would love to fight him--that would be a real challenge. But now...I can kill him easy. Which I will, if the King ever lets me out against him.

And let's not forget the boy wonder, Hitsugaya. He's a fucking child!! Why would that ancient fucker Yamamoto appoint him as a Taicho? Give me a fucking break! Although his bankai is pretty amazing...and his shunpo is incredibly fast. I know I can beat the little midget.

The biggest fuckin' shinigami freak has to be Mayori. He's just not natural. Why does he wear a mask? And what is with the freakin' fingernail? Why does he carry his zanpaktu in front instead of hanging on the side or across the back? Doesn't he worry about cutting his fucking dick off? Of course, the freak can melt into a fuckin' puddle of slime, so maybe being neutered isn't something he worries about. I don't know and I really don't give a damn!! Still, he's very dangerous. The only thing I worry about with him is him wanting to use me as a fucking experiment! NO FUCKIN' WAY!!! I'd rip his nuts off (if he still has them) and force feed them to him if he even attempted to capture me for one of his fuckin' experiments.

That ancient self-proclaimed leader, Yamamoto, needs to fuckin' die. I mean, how old is he? How many thousands of years has he managed to survive? Too many, if you want my opinion. And what the fuck is up with those eyebrows of his? I'm surprised he hasn't burned the damn drooping things off with his fire zanpukto. Anyway, I'd welcome the change to battle him...I have no doubt that I would emerge the victor! If that happened, would I become the leader of the shinigami? Cool! Imagine that...a freakin' hollow in charge of Seireitei. I'd like that. I could randomly order the execution of any fuckin' shinigami, anytime I got hungry for a new soul to devour. Yeah...and my first one would be Kuchiki. And you know what? I don't think any of the other fuckin' idiots would care. They would probably throw a party!!!

And then there are the two oldest Taichos (except for that ancient fucker, Yamamoto), Ukitake and Kyouraku. First of all, they're gay...everyone knows that. Hell, Kyouraku's haori screams "look at me! I'm gay!!!" Pink with flowers? What the fuck? I don't care how many girls he hits on-he's gay! And really the only one he flirts with is his fukutaicho, Nanao-chan. And she's not that fuckin' cute--he could at least pick someone like Yoruichi or Matsumoto. They are too fuckin' hot!! Too bad they're shinigami and therefore I have to kill them. Maybe the King will leave me in control long enough to have some fun... But I've gotten off the subject! And Ukitake...he's so 'delicate'. He's so fucking weak! Sure, he has the ability, but when he gets stressed, he starts coughing up blood! Personally, I love the sight of shinigamis bleeding, but I want it to be from where I fuckin' stabbed or sliced them!!

Okay, I mentioned Yoruichi...she's gorgeous! Tall, long-legs, killer eyes. She's really unusual because she can change shape-shift! Good fuckin' trick. But what I admire the most is her speed. I'd love to chase her and see if she is capable of outrunning me. Who knows? If she could do that, maybe I'd let her live. Nah. If I did that, she would go running back to Urahara, who is the only person, besides Ichigo, that I absolutely CANNOT KILL. Shit.

The squad that I fuckin'admire the most is the Eleventh. Those freaks love to fight. Just like me. But I do have problems with two of them. Yumichika. What kind of faggot name is that? And what the fuck is up with the freaky feathers? And that haircut? Who was the blind fucker that told him that he looked cute like that? And what is his obsession with being clean and sparkling?!! That is just too fucking nauseating! And wiggling his ass--I agree with his taicho--that's fuckin' nasty!!

Ikkaku--that shinigami is deranged! He loves to fight; hell, he goes looking for it! I can't blame him for that! I'd love to fight him too! Of course, I'd beat him-I'd kick his ass and split his fuckin' bald head with my Zangetsu. Yeah, that's right...my Zangetsu.

Zaraki Kenpachi. He should have been a fuckin' hollow. He's the only shinigami that I will admit to admiring. He's a true warrior...bold, fearless. Plus, unlike all the other pansy ass taichos, he earned his title by killing the previous captain. Pretty fuckin' cool, if you ask me. He's not afraid to die, and that makes him dangerous. I like him. I won't kill him, unless he tries to kill me. Then it's a matter of self-preservation. And I would win.

Oh yeah...I forgot about her. Kuchiki Rukia. Being related to that arrogant shithead, Kuchiki Byakuya, is enough reason for me to rip her throat out, but I owe her. If she hadn't given her powers to Ichigo, then he would have never become a fuckin' deathgod and I wouldn't have ever existed. So, I guess I have to let her live...for now. I can always change my mind about her later. I imagine that her soul would be delicious.

That fucking mod soul, Kon, is too fuckin' annoying to allow to live. If I can get my hands on him, I'll take that fuckin' pill and destroy it. End of problem...no more freakin' annoying whining, breast-obsessed plushie.

That leaves the King. I can't kill him; truthfully, I don't want to. He's a stupid naive teenager who became a fuckin' shinigami in order to protect his family. Excuse me while I puke. That kind of sappiness is so friggin' weak. How can he possibly imagine that he will ever be capable of fighting and defeating any of the fuckin' Arrancar?

I'll tell you the truth. The King will have to release me, or he'll get his ass killed and mine as well. I have a strong sense of self-preservation--if Ichigo is losing or in real friggin' danger of getting his ass kicked, I'll force his inexperienced ass back and take absolute control of our shared body.

Of course, there's always the fuckin' possibility that I may take over and never relinquish control again. Yeah, I said relinquish. I'm not fucking stupid, you know? Hollow doesn't equal idiot! Don't believe me? Then explain fuckin Ulquiorra.

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Well, I hope you liked Hichigo's rantings!! Please read and review!!!


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